HERE ARE SOME DIRTY JOKES FOR ALL YOU DIRTY PEOPLE

1.)A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator.

On the third floor a man gets on who's perfect: Italian suit, handsome,
great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he
has a bad case of dandruff.

The man gets off on the 5th floor.

Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says,
"Someone should give him Head & Shoulders."

To which the blonde replies, "How do you give Shoulders?"

2.)I noticed my overweight husband standing on the bathroom
scale, sucking in his stomach.

Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver,
I commented, "I don't think that is going to help."

"The hell it doesn't," he said. "How else do you think I can
see the fucking numbers"
3.)There was a mature gentleman wandering around in
a supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Cris--co!"

Finally a store clerk approached.

"Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five."

"Oh," replied the old gentleman, "I'm not looking for
cooking Crisco, I am calling my wife."

"Your wife is named "Crisco?"

"Nah," he answered, "I only call her that when we
come to the supermarket."

"Oh? What do you call her when you're not
in the supermarket?"

"Lard ass."

4.)The minister, all fired up because of recent obvious problems of
infidelity, shouted out, "I want everyone who has been heing and
sheing to stand up!" Half of his congregation stood up.

He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been heing and heing
to stand up!" A couple of men stood up.

He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been sheing and
sheing to stand up!" Several women stood up.

The minister looked over his congregation and noticed that
everyone was standing except Little Johnnie.

The minister shouted out, "Brothers and Sisters, look at Little
Johnny, can he be the only one without sin? Little Johnny, stand
up.....I guess you are the only one here who isn't preoccupied with
sex and committing sins. What do you have to say!"

Little Johnny replied, "Reverend, you ain't said nothing about
meing and meing!"
5.)One day mom was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it
to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.She finally asked him, " Well what should we do about this?" Dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."





SORRY BUT SINCE HE ISNT IN OFFICE ANYMORE, I'D RATHER NOT PUT ANYMORE CLINTON OR MONICA PICTURES ON